In Focus:  Feedback Loopholes
 

(You)

I meant to ask you: how have I been doing lately, performance-wise?

(Your boss)

Well, there is an issue I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. I didn’t quite like the way you handled your last project, and here’s why: […]

Sounds familiar? If you are American, the answer is probably ‘not really.’ Bosses in the U.S., at least the decent ones, learn early on to start and end perfor­mance feed­back on an encoura­ging note, squeezing what may be the real message in-between the two posi­tive blocks. This ‘sandwich,’ as this style of deli­vering feed­back is often called, usually goes some­thing like this:

(Your boss)

You’re doing great in many areas. For example, I really liked … [example] and ... [example]. Where you may want to focus a bit more is in … [problem area] because … [example]. But overall, you’re a really solid per­former and with just a little more focus, I am con­vinced you can become one of the best contri­butors on the team.

The purpose of the ‘sandwich’ is to give employees balanced feed­back in ways that avoid demoti­vating them. At the same time, it caters to the subordi­nates’ need to be valued and feel good about them­selves. All of which makes perfect sense, so why would anybody in the world do this differ­ently?

Well, bosses using the ‘sandwich’ could be in for a sur­prise with a German or Dutch employee, for instance. It goes without saying that in these cultures, where direct and frank communi­cation is gene­rally favored, feed­back should also cover both, the good and the not-so-good aspects of job perfor­mance. It is also still impor­tant here to end on a positive note, rather than risking to frustrate and demoti­vate the employee. However, sand­wiching feed­back likely weakens the impact of more critical aspects. In direct cultures, people tend to take messages lite­rally, so employees hearing praise-critique-praise may draw a conclusion along the lines of “She/he just had to find some­thing to nag about so it wouldn’t sound like I’m doing every­thing right. Things are fine, though.” While the ‘sandwich’ is a good approach when dealing with highly direct cultures if ‘fairly good’ is indeed the inten­ded message, a boss wanting to get a point of critique across clearly may be better advised to start with the criti­cal aspects.

Needless to say: there is also the oppo­site end of the spectrum. In cultures where highly indirect communi­cation is the norm, for instance much of Asia, feed­back is gene­rally delivered, if at all, in the form of genera­lizations or through neutral-sounding stories. That makes it easy to miss the salient point for Wester­ners on the receiv­ing end, while Western bosses run a risk of Asian emplo­yees inter­preting critical feed­back much more harshly than it was intended. As always in cross-cultural communi­cation, paying attention to the other’s back­ground is helpful.

Not sure if you noticed, but the dialog starting this essay includes another, rather ‘exotic’ element: you ask for feed­back?! Honestly, how often do you do that? For most people, the answer is probably “rarely if ever.” Many humans are reluc­tant to ask anyone, let alone their boss, for feed­back, fearing what they might hear could challenge their views of them­selves and/or affect the relation­ship with the other person. As under­standable as it may be, this reluct­ance cuts them off what may well be their biggest personal develop­ment oppor­tunity. After all, how can you deter­mine how others see you and achieve greater impact by adjus­ting behaviors accor­dingly, without ever getting feedback from them?

Another type of indivi­dual is one who asks for feedback but seemingly does not want to hear any­thing other than “You’re great!” In the face of critical feed­back, this type starts arguing, aiming to convince others that their views are wrong. Unsur­prisingly, these indivi­duals soon run out of people who are willing to give them honest feed­back, which in essence creates the same dilemma as above.

Neither of these types is culture-specific. What they have in common is that they risk missing out on the most valu­able way –by far– to develop oneself: feedback (*). Fre­quently giving quality feed­back and encoura­ging it from others are quali­ties that charac­terize success­ful people.

American, German, Chinese, or else: it does not matter.

(*) If you are not convinced, may I suggest reading our Book of the Quarter?

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Leadership Crossroads^SM, 2016