You’re asking your local sales representative in Taiwan whether
the business is growing as projected? Inquiring from the leader of your Indian IT team whether the project is on
track? Trying to find out from your Japanese partners whether they like your latest proposal? If you ask them
directly, the answer you’ll probably receive is ‘yes.’
Unfortunately, the reality of the situation may be less
clear-cut. Is the business in Taiwan indeed growing? Did the Indian project progress as planned? Will the
Japanese accept your proposal? As countless others before you had to find out, the word ‘yes’ does not necessarily tell
you much. Strangely, it seems to carry a different meaning in certain cultures.
Make no mistake: even when you feel that they are hiding
something from you, your Taiwanese, Indian, or Japanese counterparts may have the best of intentions when saying ‘yes’ in
uncertain situations. Assuming that they are trying to deceive you likely misses the point. Instead, realize that
you may be a victim of your own assumptions: a common mistake when communicating with non-native English speakers is to take
‘yes’ as a confirmation of agreement. In reality, it may not even signal understanding. All the word might be
telling you is that your counterparts noticed that you said something. In some cultures, people may nod and say ‘yes’ when
they have no clue what is being said, trying to prevent a loss of face that could make either you or them look bad. Saying
‘no’ or “I didn’t get that” may be considered blunt, disrespectful, incompetent, or all of the above. Communicating across
cultural boundaries requires staying away from such pitfalls. Here are a few strategies that may help you find out what’s
really going on:
Refrain from asking questions
that allow ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers. Members of many cultures around the world find it difficult to say ‘no’ when
asked a direct question. Indeed, such a word does not even exist in some cultures. It is wise to avoid inquiring in
ways that might leave your counterparts no alternative but to respond with ‘yes.’
Ask open-ended questions that
encourage your counterparts to “tell you more.” You want your counterparts to tell you the true story.
Questions such as “What needs to happen for us to achieve our plan?” allow them to bring up issues and problems without “hitting
you in the face” with them. Following up with further open-ended inquiries, you will quickly get a grasp of the real
picture. However, make sure that the questioning remains positive and constructive. “What can we do to ensure our
success?” is far less intimidating, and more likely to trigger an honest reply, than “What is the problem here?”
Ask your counterparts to discuss
alternatives. Members of indirect cultures commonly find it hard to bring up problems. It gets even
harder if the problem actually has something to do with you. For instance, you
might have asked for the impossible without realizing it. Or maybe you’re requesting something that conflicts with a local
superior’s directives. Pointing out such issues to you openly is rarely an option, since many counterparts view doing so
as disrespectful. Your best bet in order to find out is to ask open-ended questions that address multiple issues and
viewpoints, for instance “Please list the top three challenges for us to focus on” or “Please compare the advantages and
challenges of our proposed approach with how you did things in the past.” Next, listen carefully. Issues like those
described will be brought up subtly and may sound less worrisome than they really are.
Watch for subtle
messages. Indirect communication requires negative messages to be conveyed in less overt ways than most
Westerners are used to. Hesitation before responding, small gestures that indicate discomfort, and subtle verbal clues such
as “We will see” or “This may be a bit difficult“ often indicate problems or conflicts. In addition, search for messages
“between the lines,” paying particular attention to what is not being said.
For instance, if your counterparts praise an insubstantial aspect of a proposal you just made, the real message may be that they
dislike some of its key elements.
Summarize what you
heard. When you think you got the message, make statements like “Since our success is so important, allow me
to summarize my understanding. Please add anything I might have missed.” Then, sum up your conclusions in a few simple
statements. Your counterparts may not tell you outright in case you’re off, but they will give you enough clues for you to
dig deeper if necessary.
Many cultures, especially those where relationships are very
important and rank or status enjoy great respect, prefer indirect communication. Examples are Mexicans, most Latin Americans,
the Chinese, the Taiwanese, Indians, Indonesians, Koreans, Thais, and above all, the Japanese. That may make it harder to
get the point, but it does not mean that messages will necessarily be lost. It is a popular misconception to believe that
‘indirect’ represents the equivalent of ‘vague.’ It is entirely possible to communicate clear messages in a highly indirect
fashion, although most Westerners require extensive practice to learn this skill. In any case, you will greatly improve the
odds of making the communication effective by asking the right kinds of questions. Just make sure not to take ‘yes’ for an
answer.
